Chapter 4: Philosophy of a Relationship

It is more likely for you to fall in love with someone that is very close to you, that you see everyday. This is why a lot of people fall for a work colleague or someone in their neighbourhood. It is normal for you to be attracted to a colleague because you spend the most of your life at work. It might count that you are the most energetic and you look your best while at work. If you don't work with your partner, it is a little bit unfair to him that you meet when you are already tired and he cannot interact with you when you are in the best shape.

One of eight married couples met online. That's normal, if you take in account that you are also online most of your time - at work and sometimes at home too.

Single people remain single for a long period of time because of several reasons: they are too picky, they have a "single" lifestyle and they don't want to change it or there was something terribly wrong with their last relationships.

You should also try to hook up with someone who was recommended by somebody you trust instead of some random guy/chick. This will insert a little bit of confidence in your relationship. It's like your partner has a lifetime warranty.

When you are dating someone, make sure that he/she has at least the qualities to become your life partner. If you want someone tall, just make sure he is. Other things that might be worth your attention: social status (should be close to yours), daily time schedule (should be also close to yours), favorite sports (volleyball, swimming, fitness, gym) or music (rock, jazz, dance, latino, chill, slow, techno, house, drum'n'bass, retro). The most important thing is that you should enjoy conversation with your partner. This is the thing you will do with him most of your time.

Make sure that he's a winner. Positive attitude will help you both fight life's tough moments much more easier. Avoid even dating people with low self esteem (classic looser attitude).

Don't mess around with hooked-up people. Timing is everything. And not only timing, but the place you meet for the first time is the one that will keep your bond in the first few weeks. If your mate is not ready for a relationship, move on.

Look out! You might like someone like you, but you will definitely be attracted by someone opposite to you.

Anyone can fall in love with anyone. They just need the right moment and the right story to make it happen.

You need to interact with as many social circles as possible - try at least 4 per day and you'll know what I mean. Know a lot of people, even if you don't get to know them well.

Remember that always relationships evolve. There's no use to push a person or a group of persons now. Act human, and you might get what you want later!

Dating.

When dating, make sure that you value the most your qualities. If you know you are good-looking, make sure that you let your partner see this (meet outside during the day, or inside where there is a lot of light). However, if you don't feel comfortable with your external looks, you may want to meet someone in a darker place (like a club, bar or at the cinema).If you know that your best quality is your intelligence, try meeting new people in appropriate places like a library, opera or theatre.

Make sure that you make yourself "available". This means that you should be everywhere if you want to be seen. Use everyone you know and invite yourself to your friends' activities.

And remember: if you ask a girl, she'll say "no" ... but if you show her ... she might change her mind!

If your date is physically attracted to you, he/she will be more open on communicating with you.

Never forget to compliment her! And remember: the correct answer to a girl's question "What age you think I am?" is always "20-21". That's right: if she's 18, she will be dazzled, but she'll be also dazzled if she's 30.

The beginning.

Beginnings are always the best: mystery, innocence, subtle flirt, discretion... just perfect.

You trend to love the person close to you for every quality that he has. In the beginning, you will be blinded in the qualities and you will ignore their flaws. Your partner will make you the happiest person in the first months of your relationship.

Never keep your feelings for yourself. Always tell your loved one what you feel. Never lie to your date. I had the opportunity to meet person who actually tried to lie about smoking while on the date. Can you imagine that? After about a few hours, they can't resist it. Nice try, though!

When you love someone, you love every single thing that one loves to do. You will fall in love with all the things that your partner likes to do. All his daily activities will become your obsession and will make love or hate him more.

Make an inventory of what you like at your partner from time to time. If you can find only one or two major things you like (e.g.: only the looks and smile) than this might not be the perfect match for you...

Keeping the things going.

Remember the most important things that matter in a relationship (you cannot have them 100% only from one person, but you can trend to have them):

You can tell that you are truly in love with your partner if you can resist all the "temptations" that will pass by you...

You might have heard a lot of couples that are doing "well". Well, they're doing well because they're doing nothing with their relationship. If you sit at home and interact with very little people, it is pretty easy to keep things going. If you want to put your relationship to the ultimate test, go out with lots and different people. You'll get feedback right away if this is the good partner for you!

Fights, breaking up and making up.

First thing you need to know is that a lot of things change after breaking up. You should avoid this with any price. Think and think again before breaking up with your partner. At least a few days.

Second thing you need to know is that if you were in a long relationship (lots of years) and you, as a couple, made friends, it is most probably that those friends will not accept a new partner and you'll have to change your entourage.

If you don't feel comfortable any more in your relationship, don't hesitate to end it. Don't worry, life has a certain continuity. For example the partners you had, they just seem to come and go, but - in fact - there is always a connection between them.

It's either a recommendation or pure coincidence that after you break up with one, the other just comes along. It happened to me twice for the old one to recommend the new one.

Also keep in mind that if you truly loved a person, you will never ever let it out of your heart. It will stay there forever and you will think of them from time to time.

If children are involved, please stay together so they have at least one good example to follow in life...